Recently, there was a natural disaster in his new community, and I can only imagine how he has swept in and shown himself to be a “hero”. I finally had the patio roof replaced. As normal, loving humans, we grope for something to make sense. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It was like the whole world was evil and cruel and would always be. Time will tell, as I am sure his new wife has unknowingly married a disaster. Now, it’s clear exactly what upsets a sociopath, and my advice is not to get involved in one if you can help it. Wanna get married! As an acquaintance, when I had to move a couple of years ago, he INSISTED on helping me … though I had already set everything up to hire movers. No contact starting tomorrow again. They Know It Will End:. I get what u mean about happiness now pain later. Even if you are having a crappy day, smile and turn the question back around to how the sociopath’s day is going. And he will act shocked and say “aww u do love me”. Concerning the “altruism” and how the real motivation is selfishness …. And you want to make sure he or she never does this to another human being. Get Back Up. I miss her & I know she would trade places in an instant with me & my horrible Soc experience if she could….we are alive & that’s a blessing some don’t get , Stay strong, happy birthday….I turned 50 last week, have been through all this Soc crap & lost a great friend but, I am still standing & looking at this milestone as a new beginning , I know lulu, I have.. n the past wanted her back, but she isn’t “her” she’s just a very good user and method actor. FROST is not a horror flick with spinning heads and green pea soup, but rather a cerebral excursion attempting to show the skillful subtlety of Satan. Of course he never did pay anything towards my very expensive rent, though he paid for a lot of groceries (most which he ate, and most of it was garbage), took me away on the weekends (that’s called dating, and he makes 3x what I was making – can I just say that he also owned 2 vehicles, a motor home and a speed boat), and – he bought a second property because he received a $60k payout from being dismissed from a job, all while telling me about the grandiose plans he had for our future …(nope, never saw anything for rent after the $60k windfall, either. If she were to be ditched by him, I’d be terrified at what might happen. It is so dangerous. There are other things he is doing though that just don’t jibe with my morality clauses. When they pretend that they don’t…. But I am working hard to climb out of this abyss. FROST is not appropriate for theologically unsteady youth who don’t know how to discern the truth. 7. Often, their partner will have no idea where this rage or outburst has come from, or what triggered it. Latest posts by Janey Davies, B.A. I stopped giving in a long time ago. I don’t even think it would be safe for him to realize the truth now… their is my son and his half sister to think about and my x is capable of anything. My birthday is Friday so happy birthday to us both! And happiness is happiness. if you are in the situation and thinking the sociopath will and can change….. try to think ‘why’ why is the sociopath ‘changing’….. remember they are the chameleons…. This is the sociopath who feels as if you have purposefully dissed him or her in public. Look in the mirror, you deserve better, just believe that YOU do . I feel so lied to. Thank you for more really solid insight Truly crafty. You are theirs, you are their toy, their plaything, to be used as they wish. Here are 10 more things that the sociopath may want: 1. she even threatens upset for him to have control over me. I can see him pin me to a wall or against the sofa to kiss me until I submitted. The nicest thing he’s said to me is “I love you”, and his “love” appears to have severe limitations. Also the eyes – the blankness of the eyes and how the face distorts too. who can be whoever they want to be, to get whatever they want to get. Argh hard to post properly sometimes lose the thread??? Ditto Judah & mine alternated from both romantic to aggressive etc… If you don’t have anyone, go to a bookstore, or take a walk in a park and watch puppies or feed ducks. it really is only pretence to lure you in. I never passed so sad like today…. We know that people who suffer from anti-social disorders like sociopathy are typically highly narcissistic individuals. Stay away from them. Eventually when we broke up (he was already seeing the woman to whom he is now married – a mere 13 weeks after our breakup), I asked him to repay me for 1/2 the money I spent on rent, he gave me this song and dance about how financially badly off he is – he’s not such a wonderful and generous man now. Jesus i was so sad thinking i lost a good man. But what he said today was deliberate. Yes, when you become strong again, your common friends and the friends discuss ‘all about you’ with the narcissist. it doesn’t display any empathy for how someone else is feeling. I was always right there making excuses so itll be ok. and they will be straight in. I feel so stupid, I feel I am a trash…. I know this feeling all too well and it relates to my experience, it’s amazing how we’re conned into believing them that sometimes the obvious and apparent signs at the time only become visible when we’ve passed happiness and left with pain and we’re back to ourselves, holding out for a hero. If an ordinary person cannot get what he or she wants, then rarely does it end in violence or criminal activity. This would in turn destroy something of the house and cost me financially. I sent another reply but, don’t think it went thru? Sadly, he had me convinced she was, but truthfully, I think they were two sociopaths who found each other and collided. Winning, Control, Manipulation….all part of the game! The sociopath does NOTHING unless it has their own interests at heart. I think now, seeing you guys who have been through it to has really helped me through this last (I hope) transition of acceptance and my strength retuning can be used to make things great for me and my son, now just to get back to where I was. I was in this relationship for 6 years. It can be hard when you let you mind casually smile at a memory… it hurts so quickly. Now when I think how “sociopathically” convenient quote! That is, here his power works for good as well as evil, and his main aim in coming back is the altruistic motive of causing people to again believe in the black and white nature of good and evil” this is exactly what was confusing me and tripping me up. The result is that you feel guilty. I told him yesterday I planned to date. They will have more of an impulsive reaction to lash out. There is no titanic struggle of good versus evil, just evil having its way in a field of humans incapable of binding his power. If it’s your birthday, call some friends for dinner or a drink. I managed to collect all but 10% of the balance he owed me – I can eat that loss – it’s a small price to pay for him to be out of my life. If you are constantly feeling pity for someone who hurts you, then you are probably dealing with a sociopath. During this period, I talked to some wonderful girlfriends, but mostly I had to fake it until I made it. One is the speed by which they can switch from one personality to another. You want your life back. She blamed a carjacking gone wrong, but police became suspicious after this narcissistic mother laughed when re-enacting the shooting at the crime scene. His motivation? Just out of interest does anyone else experience the Soc saying “Sex is their right” or that if your not willing they “will rape you anyway”….mine yous’d to say it was his “Right” over & over…& that I was his to do whatever he liked with? In fact, they will do anything to get what they want. He offered to babysit. A rule of mine was to never go to sleep angry. Sociopaths are highly narcissistic. You will notice the things that he will do to keep control. We have a son so meeting is part of our access arrangement. Be blessed! If they fake that they are looking out for you…. The mental, emotional, or physical trauma can be stunning. I prayed hard at church. All are the same emptiness to them. I would have went to hell in a handbasket if he asked me to. I realised that I would be infinitely happier with the love I have for myself. 2) Lying – To a sociopath, lying is as easy and natural as drinking a glass of water. They cannot lose face in front of friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers. Not normal men! This is where I’m at. Pain is pain. A sociopath has little concern for another person's feelings, desires or needs. Moving towards acceptance – Let go with love!! Related: Sociopathy 101: Understanding the Mind & Psyche Of A Sociopath It’s Normal To Doubt and Feels Fear. the illusionists…. Whilst playing a very good persona, of pretending that they are ‘helping’ you….. their actions always have their own needs at heart. And…. it was really weird reading about “soul mates”. Your typical psychopath will quickly come up with lie after lie after lie. “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. My thought is always the same: What if I’m wrong. the truth will always set you free , Allow a good time to pass before you believe the words to ensure that they are words that are honest and truthful. I know exactly what is going on, but this eejit can’t see it, she is dripping a mixture of poison and honey in his ear and he is so invested now I doubt he can see the truth. I just get really pissed with myself for being duped for so many years I am good just reflecting for the comments…off to Gestalt Therapy Tomorrow . I realize I can’t “be with him” under these conditions. So i was always there trying make sure he was happy. Doesn’t make sense ! You only have to look at convicted prisoners who have killed their partners. Excuse me!! So, since that cycle ended, I’ve just been waiting on him to shape up. They have groomed and gaslighted you into a submissive position in the relationship. She shot her three children, murdering one and seriously injuring the other two. If you cant say anything supportive – say nothing at all. “I am memory.” His mystic manipulation of others is never so obvious as to compel certain characters to believe that he is Satan, a credit to the skillful way the screenplay is written. Ha! According to what someone else wrote in a separate reply, that isn’t possible—that he is self-interest driven and motivated. They see you as a possession, someone they own, a good that is theirs. They can’t control their rage, so they lash out. I went to one of my best friends funerals today & we celebrated her life They KNOW they give you the happiness now, pain later. These people absolutely must have your undivided attention. In fact, think of a sociopathic scale, with mild characteristics at one end and full-blown sociopathic traits at the other. The sociopath thinks of self first. Unlike the psychopath, who will think carefully and in a calculated way, the sociopath will react instantly, and usually with terrible consequences. Sure, they can brood and sulk for hours, days, if not weeks. Wish me luck.. Love an peace. I do believe it was my obedience to God through out that ultimately wised me up & lifted me out. Douchebag that he is). But I made it. How many more times are you going to go around? Many different types of psychopaths and sociopaths, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O3ZQPezglQ, The sociopath will always accuse YOU of what they are guilty of themself, Physical ailments - do they have a different meaning? Sociopaths use gas lighting for a similar effect and to gradually gain control over their partner. One time I tried to talk to him as my x was only interested in herself and wanted to keep things hostile regardless of how this affected our son. I never once thought or felt I had no reason to live and nothing to commemorate. The thing is about sociopaths is that they are very insecure people. I have reduced myself to nothing so he can stand talk like the big 6″5 man he is. How to Deal with a Female Sociopath. If you suspect you are dealing with a female sociopath, I recommend you take the following steps: That might have been true if I was freakin NOAH on the ark!!! I hope you are happy now and your love is with someone who deserves it… even if that is just for yourself at the moment : ), Have some law to protect us? I mourned my (perceived) loss in private for a few months – it was awful, and I do believe that the healing takes time. Ahhhh/sigh Here we go again. The real personality wants to do it's own thing sometimes but the pseudopersonality is programmed to put the sociopath's wants and needs first. That’s the deal.” ― C.S. In fact, when it comes to understanding what upsets a sociopath, it’s quite interesting to define the differences between psychopaths and sociopaths. . However, remember, Satan doesn’t fear your resisting him. I sit here and wonder could he have realized that maybe I am the one he loves after all, I have been feeling love from him and his actions, its different this time. You work for your own interests and would lie about me, stab me in the back, betray me should you get the chance. remember I had a 10 year sentence so, a lot more mind games Sociopaths can be incredibly likable people and very charming at first. To see he is hitting on girls not much older than my daughter. But unlike psychopaths, who expect some sort of challenge to their lies, sociopaths will be indignant with anger because you did not believe them. But when he’s angry he say things like “I love you sometimes” or “I have a lot of love for u”. GET A GRIP! Sociopaths will do (unless they have a new source) almost anything to retain control, and to retain ownership of YOU. I hope your okay as I hadn’t seen you commenting as much? Don’t give them anything. the cycle will repeat, over and over. Unlike psychopaths, who are glib and cunning, sociopaths tend to buckle quickly under pressure. I hate me, because I think I still love him…. Just to lure you in, win,fool and hurt again! I observed the same tendencies, Judahbug. She demonized me and took my son from me for 8 months. But I don’t want to hurt him either. Nothing less. Excellent post! He was exactly what i wanted in a man. Yet, this charm is merely superficial and shallow. Here are 5 signs of emotional abuse that are also red flags the man you're in a relationship with may be a sociopath or psychopath. On the other hand, sociopaths tend to panic more under stress.